Tuesday, August 31, 2010

And We're Back to School!

The school year has finally hit, and the extra traffic pisses me off.  First, I don't care that you are 12 years old and have a BMW.  Please stay off my ass as we drive into the parking garage.  And, yes, I see that you, a student, parked in a staff parking spot.  I want to punch you in the face.

Now that's out of the way.  Good. 

I really, really like working with students - for the most part.  So many students that I have worked with over the last few months have been kind, thankful, and work hard.  Of course, they are overshadowed by a-holes who yell at me because they have to pay out of state tuition.  First, don't get pissed at me because you assume that since you moved here, you are suddenly entitled to in state tuition.  It doesn't work that way, princess.  Second, don't have your parents call me because they will "talk me into it".  Please.  Do your own talking. 

While I like working with students, those with an elitist attitude makes me want to put a fork in my eye.  My job is not to fix everything for you.  My job is to help you succeed by giving you resources across campus.  If I can, I'll make phone calls on your behalf - but not if you are giving me attitude.  I'm sorry that you dropped your class after the drop date.  I'm sorry you have to pay for it now, and get a W on your transcript.  BUT, you are an ADULT.  If you could act like one, and familiarize yourself with policies that are clearly posted, it would make everyone's life easier.

I'm frustrated at work.  Obviously.  But, each day, you have to get up, and say "I'm going to have a good attitude today.  How am I going to make this day great?".  When I don't feel that way in the morning, I might as well take a personal day, because me being there wouldn't be fun for anyone.  Luckily, I don't hit those days very often.  It's all good, though - I have a job that pays pretty well, I like who I work with (for the most part), and they are flexible when Naomi is sick.  These are all good things, and I need to remember that each day.

Umm, what else?  Naomi is about to roll over - but she's taking her sweet time.  We started implementing rice cereal 3 times a week at night so she can get used to it.  She hates it, and spits it out.  It was cute at first - seriously - but I can see the process frustrating me in the future.  It's one of those things that I have to take a deep breath and remember that these moments won't last forever, and I will miss them one day.

The further I get into motherhood, the more I get pissed off about people making it sound like it's all about unicorns farting rainbows.  I know I've been through this before - I just felt like saying it again.  Yep, I can do that.  It's my blog.  Ha.

Random thoughts for the week:

1. Has anyone else noticed that America's Got Talent has been going on way too long?  Choose a winner, thanks.

2. I started classes for a Mental Health and Developmental Disability certification at CSN this week.  All my courses are online, so yay! 

3. Along with #2, I decided about 6 months ago that I am going to go back to get to school for my Masters in Social Work.  I can go half time while working so I can get it 70% off (YES please).  I won't start for a couple more years, so in the meantime, I'm getting a certification or an AA degree (I know, I did it backwards - BA, Masters, then AA.  Whatever.)

4. People with nice cars (BMW, Jaguar, etc) piss me off, because let's be honest, you are just shoving it in people's faces that you have a lot of money.  Sorry if that is judgemental - but again, my blog, my rules.

5. My kid is ginormous, but she is eating less than she should be.  How does that work? 

6. I am so tired of Sharon Angle vs. Harry Reid.  I'm voting for Fred Flinstone.

7. I still like my husband.

8. I'm tired of my dog jumping on my head at 3:45 a.m., but I don't have the heart or the sanity to put her in a cage.  I know, I'm a softie.

9. Some people should not be on HD shows.  Sir, you look 100 years old and you are wearing lipstick. 

First UNLV tailgate this weekend - sweet!  Then Labor Day celebration on Sunday at Mary's.  I have Monday off, but Michael doesn't - sad panda.  I'll be playing video games while Naomi is napping, though!

I must go do my homework now.  Is it sad that I am excited about doing homework again?  I'm sure it will go away within the next couple of weeks.

Until next time - in the meantime, ponder this thought: "How did someone come up with the name 'Platypus'?"  Talk amongst yourselves.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Back in Action

I miss my BabyCenter friends.  I don't frequent BabyCenter to share ideas on parenting, trade information on best practices, or any of that other crap.  No one wants to hear from me about that, and I don't want to hear about how "awesome" you are as a parent.  Shove it.  If I have questions, I'll ask someone like my sister.  Thanks.

No, I go on BabyCenter to debate.  Not strict debating like this:

Team one, you have 3 minutes to debate whether or not aborting a fetus due to severe chromosomal abnormalities is ethical.  Team two, you have 3 minutes for rebuttal.

Nope.  It looks more like this:

1. Someone posts the question.
2. Someone posts an answer.
3. A new person comes in and tells the original poster and first poster that they are awful human beings who murder children and should repent of their sins.
4. More people join, some with great scientific evidence (complete with references), others with "I know so and so who knows so and so, and they did THIS, so you all are WRONG"
5. People start getting so mad that they forget how to spell and start spouting off hateful "You all are bitches!" language
6. Those who get overly angry and defensive are then mocked by the snarky users.

(I may or may not participate in the snarky category)

Whatever.  I don't care what your opinions are - I just want to have a nice, juicy debate that helps my mind work a little overtime.  If I get some fun out of it, then my day is complete.  It may sound silly, but I've really missed getting my snarky-ness out of my system.  I really don't say anything on there that I wouldn't say in real life, so I am still pretty true to myself.

I will say, though, that I am so sick of the following things when it comes to motherhood:

1. Competition: Everyone's child is the BEST.  Jack did this...well, Jill did THIS!  Oh, you aren't cloth diapering...do you know how that ruins the environment?  Why are you using a jumperoo...don't you just want to hold them?  My thoughts: I do.not.care. how you raise your child.  Please do not give me advice that I do not ask for.  If I am curious, don't worry, I will ask you.  You can also count on me to not tell you how to raise your kid.  Thanks.

2. Working: OMG, you're back at work already?!...How can you leave her at daycare?...Don't you just wish you could stay home all day and cuddle with her, and teach her, and just spend wonderful time with her?  My thoughts: First, quit asking me "are you always going to work, or are you saving up to stay at home".  No one has ever asked Michael that question, have they?  Oh no, because I have a vagina only I get the questions of "are you going to stay home".  Dear society - quit assuming that because I pushed her out means I will stay home with her, and quit assuming that if a Dad stays home full time means that he doesn't have balls or ambition.

3. Society: Now that I am a mom, gender roles in society piss me off times 100.  I discussed a little bit of this in #2 of this post, but also in previous posts.  The expectations that women need to meet as mothers and caretakers are astronomical in nature compared to their male counterparts.  I am tired of the assumption that I HAVE to work (I happen to really like my job, and I'm damn good at it), and I am also tired of people assuming that I don't have time to spend with Naomi, or making snide comments that "someone else is raising your child".  That statement turns me into a raging lunatic.  I hate the looks of judgement that I get when I say that Naomi is with a daycare instead of a private nanny.  Basically, I am tired of society putting all of these expectations on me, just because I have a uterus.

It sure sounds like I am bitter.  Don't worry, I'm not.  I love my life, my daughter makes me really freaking happy, and my husband is fantastic.  What I don't love is the mold that I'm expected to adhere to.  I stand behind no man - I stand next to him.  No man is a master of my home - we are masters together.  No person will ever tell my daughter things that are "expected of her" just because she is a woman, like "don't do that, it's not lady-like".  Stupid.  She can do anything she pleases - sons and daughters should be held to the same standards, not "boys will be boys" vs. "be ladylike".

I would love to study the psychology of the feminist movement, and how it is continuously evolving even today.  When you stop to think about it, women are still held to a different standard to men, just like other groups are held to a different standard than the "white boys club".

That's a whole other blog post.  This little lady needs to get to bed - it's not ladylike to stay up this late without a chaperon.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Thank God my road looks good!

Michael and I were driving to a BBQ in Summerlin on Saturday. It was beautiful out! I was getting over the flu, so I was obviously a little more feisty than usual.

So, we're just taking a leisurely drive along the north 95, and Michael makes the comment "Oh, the gravel area around the on and off ramps look really nice! It must be the federal roadway beautification project or whatever it is called."


Now, I understand the Nevada Recovery Road project program - we're getting some pretty crappy roads re-paved, giving some much needed infrastructure relief while providing jobs. I think that's great, and we will continue to look at the infrastructure of our country. That's not what I am talking about.

Oh no, I'm talking about the nice desert landscape that ushers our vehicles along our long trek from one highway to another - that long, 0.25 (or less) drive that can leave families fighting because they have nothing pretty to look at. We're not talking one or two cacti hanging out, waving at your car as you drive by - no, we're talking about two cacti hanging out, having a beer, watching a couple of strippers make out while pole dancing. We are, in fact, all about entertainment in this community.

I understand providing jobs. But landscaping? A roadway? Not even a roadway, just a piece of land that you look at when you are driving a horseshoe between highways. Someone is just going to crash into it anyway! Or it will be swept off during a monsoon because the people in this city are piss-poor planners and 'forgot' to create a drainage system! Is it really necessary to provide a positive aesthetic when less than 10 miles away you have a tent city that houses men, women, and children - yes, children - because they have nothing to eat, and no place to stay.

Why have we become a society of people who concentrate on "important" matters, like what things look like, and how people view us? Have we become so materialistic that we forget that so many of our fellow human beings are dying everyday of hunger (not only in this country, but around the world)? Maybe we can buy one less plant to put in that gravel - use that money for food, and those workers you hired? Pay them to hand out food! Eureka!! You now are providing a service, a needed service, for the American people, AND you are providing jobs.

But, I get it. Don't I understand that having plant life, pretty painted sound walls, and pristine overpasses help tourism? They help make our city look good. You're right - every tourist comes here and their first "bad" thing they see is a slightly run down overpass (not even run down - so, it looks like there has been a sun shining on it. Big deal). Right - they also run into a man, woman, or child - yes, child - handing out cards listing information about legal prostitution in our state. WOO! That makes our city look great - right along with the pictures of SWAT teams clearing out tent city and police busing homeless citizens to one part of the city to keep them quarantined. Don't want the nice visitor folk to see that we have problems in this city!

I'm sorry, I just must be ungrateful for what I have - you're right. I am so very thankful that I got to see beautiful, painted overpasses on the way to my afternoon cookout. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Whew, it's a good thing this city and state know how to treat their citizens - they even entertain us in the car. What was I thinking? I'll cease my critical thinking skills and just assume that our politicians and government officials are actually looking out for everyone's best interest. It's seems like the popular thing to do these days.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

You gotta own it, people.

So today I had a great lunch with a colleague that I haven't seen in a long time. She and I are pretty similar, and we had some great conversations over Cafe Rio (which is not on the list of Weight Watchers-friendly foods, but I didn't care today).

Anyway, we talked about how people do not take responsibility for their personalities, actions, reactions, etc. People just don't say, "Yes, I did that. I made a mistake" or "This isn't my strength, but I will work on it." Things like StrengthsQuest overly focuses on a person's strengths. It's great to talk about that, but it is also important that we challenge ourselves. It builds character.

Anyway, there are things that I would like to "own". Everyone should come up with a list, for sure. Own who you are. Be proud of what you do well. Continue to work on things that you need to improve upon. Don't stay stagnant. Figure out what you can do to make your world, or the world of another person, a better place. Be HONEST when you make a mistake. Apologize, even when you don't think you should. Sometimes taking the high road builds character and supports integrity.

So, here is what I own:

1. I own that I suck at sending cards and gifts. Apparently, it's hard for me to send it out. I can purchase a card, sign it, stamp it, address it, and then it sits on my counter for a week. On average, all cards are at least a week late. Everyone in my family knows this. I continually try to improve it, but I still suck at it. By the way, Andy/Laura, Cassie/Devin, and Shane/Jessi, I have your wedding gifts, but I haven't sent them out yet. I know, you got married 2 months ago. Sorry.

2. I can be overdramatic. That's pretty self explanatory. For a little while, little problems can seem like HUGE problems to me. I just need some time to work through them.

3. I own the fact that when I see a woman who is not independent, depends on a man for everything, and stands behind a man because he is "the head of the family", I get pissed off. Own that you are a woman, have great ideas, and can be self sufficient. You don't need a freaking man to be complete. Get your shit together.

4. I own the fact that I use humor and sarcasm to break up work days, conflict, and stressful situations. People say I'm funny - that's awesome, because we all need to laugh each day. Things can always get worse.

5. I own the fact that I can be judgemental. I can judge people who don't wear clothes that suit their body type (larger ladies, please don't wear belly shirts. Thanks.). I can judge people who think that they are superior. I can judge people for having habitually shitty attitudes. Take that crap somewhere else. And if you say that you don't judge people, you are a freaking liar. And I own the fact that I called you a liar.

6. I own that I can be brutally honest. You never have to guess where you stand with me. I sometimes cross the line, which will be followed by an apology. I also wear my emotions on my face. If I'm pissed, you'll know it.

7. I own that I can sometimes share too much information. Case in point: when I was pregnant, people asked how I was feeling. I would tell them, in detail, how I was feeling. Many stopped asking at that point. My philosophy is that if you don't REALLY want to know, don't freaking ask. I also own the fact while I love my daughter, I hated being pregnant. I don't look forward to doing it again.

8. I own the fact that I don't blindly follow what I'm told. I will think critically, and take your argument apart. I also own that I sometimes shove other people's opinions down their throat. I'm working on that.

9. I own that I discredit your argument if you quote Fox News. Sorry. (But that also includes most media outlets these days - everyone is so freaking biased. Everyone just needs to do their own freaking research).

10. I own that we make decisions that is in the best interest for our daughter. If that doesn't meet "perfect mother" standards, kiss it.

11. I own that it's ok to choose to be crabby. Just don't let it run your life.

12. I own that I don't wash my hair every day. I own that I don't shave every day. Priorities.

13. I own the fact that sometimes I go to bed without dinner because I am too tired to make anything. Yes, I know it's not healthy. No, I don't care. Thanks.

14. I own that I have body issues, and that I hate the way I look and feel physically. I have no confidence when it comes to my physical appearance. Now, my wit, professionalism, integrity, ethics, and character? Yeah, I freaking rock.

15. I own the fact that I won't poop in a public bathroom, even if I have to wait all freaking day.

16. I own that I've made grave mistakes in my past, but those mistakes don't define me.

17. I own the fact that we don't recycle. I know, we are earth-haters that are contributing to the downfall of society and our earth. I'm contributing to the death of our children.

18. I own that I feel like I am not making a difference in the lives of students. I try and try and try, but it feels like a drop in a large bucket.

19. I own the fact that sometimes I go to bed wondering if I am doing the right things for Naomi.

20. I own the fact that I am a working mother. I like working. No, I don't secretly wish I could quit my job. I love my job. I own that my only identity is not Michael's wife, or Naomi's mother. I own that I'm a pretty kick-ass professional who works hard to balance responsibilities, and a great friend. I create my own identity, and that includes being Michael's wife and Naomi's mom.

21. I own the fact that I curse like a sailor. And that I have a hard time toning it down. It's a work in progress. And I own that I am way loud.

22. I own the fact that this list is turning into a "This is what I think, bitches!" post. :)

23. I also own that I suck at blog writing lately.

People, I encourage you to own it. Embrace who you are, your opinions, and your decisions. Continue developing yourself. Help others develop. Next time you are mad, take a deep breath. Remember that life could be much worse. Don't let anyone tell you your feelings are not right or valid.

This has been the word of Megan. Do with it as you please.