Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I'm glad you are doing well, but could you not use so many !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ? Thanks.

ACH.

I don't know what the hell it is, but what is with the Facebook status updates that just have to tell the entire world how AMAZING you life is?

Now, I don't mean the "I feel very blessed today", or the "I'm having a great day because my husband/significant other rocks", or even the "I am so lucky!".

What I am talking about are the "Let me run through all of the amazing things in my life right now, refer to all of the obstacles that I have overcome, and I am giving the figurative finger to those who didn't believe in me!!"

For example, if I wrote one, it would read something like this:

"I have the most amazing husband, that I've been with for almost 9 years, a rockstar daughter, and a fancy dog! Michael and I have amazing jobs, we drive nice cars, and although we are in debt, we are paying it off!! We love each other very much, we have great families, and lots of friends!!!! And for those of you who thought that Michael and I wouldn't make it through long distance, or thought that I would just be crazy my whole life, just LOOK AT ME NOW!!!!!!!!!"


And the post has to have 1 million exclamation points, just to make sure everyone knows that you are practically screaming at how amazing that you have it right now. To really read it right, you have to think about it in the context of me on the Maury or Jerry Springer set, waving my arm like it's my job.

Ok, so yes, there is some truth in all of these statements. These people are truly happy that their lives are going that well. I'm happy for them. But do you really need to fill up my news feed with how FANTASTIC your life is? A simple "I feel blessed" or "I am very lucky in my life right now" would suffice. I promise. Most people would be, aww, that's nice, they are doing well for themselves. But if you have an off-the-wall crazy-pants post like that, you have me wondering - who are you trying to impress?

Now, some could say the same about me, with my brutally honest blog and Facebook postings on my pregnancy. That's cool. I personally call it realism, but that's just me. Pregnancy is not about lollipops and gumdrops my friends, and I have never been one to blow smoke up your ass, so why start now? Are there moments of laughter, joy, and wonder? Oh, absolutely, and I post those too.

I've learned that in real life, though (that's the non-Facebook and internet life for you Millennials out there), people do not want to hear about trials and tribulations of pregnancy, or life in general. If they ask, "How are you feeling?", they want to hear me say, "Oh, I feel great, I have _____ long to go, I am really looking forward to it! It's just an amazing experience", which they would follow with, "Well, that's great!" and then give some sort of whacked out advice about being a parent that they assume I care about.

In my reality, for a long time, when people asked "How are you feeling?", it would most definitely be followed by how I was actually feeling. Again, no smoke up your ass, friends, because that shit's hot, and it would hurt. Now, it's like I have to say "Oh, I feel great, I have _____ long to go, and I'm really looking forward to it! It's just an amazing experience" or I get the look of "WOW. She's got issues." I finally got sick of it, so here I am supplying the facade of "pregnancy is lollipops and gumdrops!!"

But since when did I really leave something out? I'm a pretty open book, if I feel a certain way, you're gonna know. Done and done.

So, anyway, this isn't directed toward anyone in general, but to the many people who have posted something like that on Facebook. I get it. You are doing GREAT. I am really, very happy for you. Now calm it down. Thanks.

And it looks like that sass button has returned. Hooray!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Woot for updates!

It's been awhile - my bad! :) This entry may not be humorous, sassy, or anything of the like, but maybe just an update. We'll see.

Anywho, I'm a little over 34 weeks, so that means about 5.5 weeks before my "official" due date. I think Ms. Thang is going to arrive on April 1 or 2 (specifically, go into labor on April 1, and her arrival on April 2), be about 7.5 or 8 lbs, and be 21" long (she'll have her daddy's length). I think she'll arrive at 3 a.m.

Daddy thinks she'll get here March 17, 11 a.m., 8.5 lbs, 19" long. I think he's wrong - that's early for a first time mom to give birth (but "at term" all the same). The winner gets bragging rights. Place your bets, my friends.

We've decided to give birth unmedicated, which means no induction (unless medically necessary) and no epidural regardless. Unfortunately, I am not able to receive most medications used in an epidural due to drug interactions, and to be honest, I don't really want it anyway. I would rather not put more medications in her than absolutely necessary.

Now, lots of people don't understand our reasoning to have an unmedicated birth. That's ok, it's not for everyone, and some people have no choice but to have an epidural. Who the heck am I to tell you what you should or should not do? For us, this is our best option. However, what DOES make me mad is the "oh, you don't know how much it will hurt, and you will scream for those meds". No, I won't, but thanks for having faith in me. I will not give her meds that aren't necessary, period. We didn't come to the decision easily, and we are using a birthing approach that I can really connect with.

I made fun of the approach we are using a LOT as we began to use it, but I've ended up loving it a lot. For those of you who know me, I enjoy holistic approaches to life (meditation, hypnosis, spiritual connection to nature, etc). I've done self hypnosis since college, and I believe that it is something that really helped me quit smoking. Anyway, it's something that I know and respect.

So there is this program called Hypnobabies; my sister used it during her birthing processes, and liked it a lot. She was nice enough to send it to me, and as Michael and I were starting, I nick-named it Hippie-babies, because it is very holistic and meditation/hypnosis based. It made me laugh.

But, as we've been going through the program, I've just fallen in love. I've had lots of problems with pelvic and back pain throughout the pregnancy, but through the month of January and the early part of February required me to use a cane in order to walk. It stunk, and it started to hit me mentally because I felt like I lost my independence. The techniques taught through Hypnobabies has really, really helped with pain management, and anxiety of becoming a parent. Again, not for everyone, but something that has really worked for us. I look forward to using the techniques during birth. I'm sure I'll still have some colorful language, so never fear. The sass will still come out!

We were lucky enough to hire a Doula to help us through the process. What is a doula, you may ask? Basically, it's someone who is a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional, and informational support during birth. She'll help us labor at home as long as possible, go with us to the hospital, and help us into good positions during the birth. Also, she'll help explain any interventions that the hospital staff tries to give us (i.e. offering drugs, indicating that I'll need "help along" when I really don't, etc). She's already helped calm my fears about my increasing blood pressure (which can be a bad thing), and will meet with us after Naomi gets here to help us with questions, etc. She's awesome, and it'll help keep me focused.

I am ready for her to be here! I'm ready mentally, physically, and the apartment...well, maybe not so much ready, but that's what I can do when I go on maternity leave, which starts March 1. YAY!! That will give me a few weeks to wash all of her clothes, keep the house clean, etc. because after March 7, she can really come and be "at term". Holler.

It's so cool feeling her move around these days, but SO WEIRD. She's like a little alien. Her butt was in my ribcage at one point, and I saw the little bump move. I was like WHHHHHAAAAT is THAT?! Duh, it's my daughters butt. Now when it's up there, I pat it and say "What's up?". I talk to her a lot, so she knows who I am. Michael talks to her too, which is neat (though he thinks it's a little weird).

She just makes me laugh already. I wonder sometimes if our brains are connected while she's using my bladder as a toy and my cervix as a trampoline. Does she hear what I am thinking? Does she know when I'm thinking about her with lots of love? Lots of times I start smiling about her randomly, and her butt moves again, and it makes me giggle. Who knew that despite all of the uncomforts, scary moments, and hit-the-wall "I'm done" syndrome, I could still love her so much before she even gets here?

Michael and I have talked about what we think she'll look like. I think she'll have Michael's eyes, but my facial features. I forgot what he thinks, because I forget pretty much everything. Personality-wise, I think that she'll have a quick wit and a sassy tongue (so, maybe a little like me), but have a huge heart and laid back (a lot like Michael). She'll be a great mix between us both. Again, I forget what Michael thinks, but I think he said that she is going to be just like me. I'm not totally sure if that's a good or a bad thing, OR how I am going to be able to handle that.

Being a parent scares me. I don't know how to do it. I don't want to be too protective, yet not too "do what you want". I want her to be independent, yet supportive. I want to allow her to make decisions for herself, but maybe help guide her in those decisions (asking what she wants for dinner - which will probably be followed by "pizza!" - but maybe offering her choices). I want to utilize things like technology to help her learn, but I want her to be able to get her creative juices flowing by using a box and turning it into a spaceship. Or a boat. And using clothes to help her imagine herself in far off places. I want her to have the same experience with movies as I did - the Wizard of Oz for example. I had that WHOLE thing memorized, and I would act out the entire movie in our living room. I want that experience for her.

There's just a lot that I want for her, and a lot that Michael wants for her. And then my controlling, "planning" part of me wants to sit down with Michael and create a parenting plan. Which will go out the freaking window. Ach, it's just so exciting and terrifying all at the same time. Does everyone feel this way, or is it just me?

I think my sass button is broken today, because I just feel all sorts of sentimental. What the heck?! I'm sure the sass will come back eventually. I should start writing down my witty statements and just come on here and write them down.

But yep, pretty lame today. I'm about due for a ranging post, so stay tuned.

(And Naomi says hi, because she just kicked me in the ribs and moved her booty. Maybe she has a song in her head)