Friday, August 28, 2009

Remember the days where you could eat food? Yeah, me either.

It's been about 6 weeks since we found out we were having a baby - and I would love to say that it has been the most amazing experience of my life, and that I want a million babies. But I can't say that. Wish I could, but I can't. Don't judge.

Pregnancy has been less than easy for me. Whenever I thought of being pregnant, I knew it would be hard, but I also though there would be days of blissful thoughts of my baby, rubbing my stomach on the deck, looking at the mountains, drinking some lemonade.

HA. In my dreams!

First, yes, I do have blissful thoughts about my baby - that part is very true (and I smile and get excited all over again). But when I wake up at 2:15 in the morning dry heaving on my pillow I start to think if there is A FREAKING DEMON IN PLACE OF MY CHILD. My stomach pooches out, which I didn't think would bother me, but it does, the mountains are getting old, it's still 110 outside, and lemonade makes bile come up into my mouth. So much for the picture perfect pregnancy.

Before anyone freaks out, no, I don't think my child is a demon, but my little bean is absolutely sucking the life out of me. Like, completely dry. I've had severe nausea since 5 weeks (I'm 10 weeks now), I have to keep my office door shut because I randomly dry heave, I couldn't eat anything, I am now on meds for nausea/vomiting, and what I do eat makes me absolutely sick for about 2 hours (but at least I am getting something down).

When does this start getting fun?

One week, I couldn't get enough Popsicles and sno-cones. The next week, Trix cereal was AWESOME. Milk still makes me gag. Greasy food is a no-no. Grilled cheese? AWESOMER THAN ANYTHING. But what sucks is that what works for me today, will absolutely kill me tomorrow. Funny how that works.

I am getting larger - I haven't been able to fit in my clothes for a few weeks now, which is exciting and depressing all at the same time. I thought, since I'm already a "full figured" gal, it wouldn't bother me all that much, but the changes that happen with your body mess with your mind. I will miss the opportunity of having a cute little baby bump, because people won't really be able to notice until November anyway, and those who don't know me won't ask me when I'm due, ever, because they don't want to offend a non-pregnant fat lady.

And, before anyone asks, I will not be taking side "progression" photos. Period. I already feel soooo uncomfortable with my body, so I don't want to do it and have people say "I see no difference". It's awkward being heavy and pregnant. And it sucks.

Case in point: When I told a person from work (who I only work with on occasion, and does not work in the same building as I do) that we were expecting, his eyes immediately go to my stomach and goes, "Really?" But not the "Really?" excited "Really", it was the "Really, because I don't believe you because you just look fat". The eyebrows were all furrowed and everything, and had the headcock to one side as if to ask "Are you serious?" . I wanted to crawl under a table and die. (And no, I did not take this the wrong way - I went over the scenario in my brain a number of times).

And there was another guy at work who said this summer (before we were pregnant, but we were trying), "I'll never let my wife get pregnant when she is fat - that is so selfish of her. My wife knows that if she wants a child, she needs to keep working out". My jaw almost hit the floor. Really? Selfish? AND, you are talking to a heavier woman of child bearing age. Hey, IDIOT, do you have a pea for a brain? Watch what you say!

Overall, I have my good days and my bad days - today was a not so good day. I try to make it a good day, and overall it is, but my body seems to be so angry right now. I would like some happiness back in my body, please. Thanks so much.

Off to make a grilled cheese - that sounds damn good.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Shocker: Babies do not come from H2O

Oh. Oh, this saying and it's many variations.

"OMG, you drank the water!!"
"What kind of fertility drugs do you put in your water?"
"Man, I'm not drinking the water!"

::sigh:: And now begins the silly, cutsie comments surrounding pregnancy.

Just so we are on the same page, babies don't come from water, storks, or anything weird. It's when a sperm fertilizes an egg, and that egg embeds itself into the uterine wall. The sperm gets into the egg by a man and woman having relations. Everyone caught up? Good.

I don't know where this statement came from, but whoever first said it deserves to be punched in the face.

I first started hearing this statement when we were secretly TTC (that's short for Trying To Conceive, for you non-pregnant folk), and I had a couple of friends at work who recently became pregnant. One of them has an office next to mine, so I got to hear all of the cutsie comments for a full 6 months before we got pregnant (that may or may not be why they annoy the crap out of me at this point).

Anywho, every time they came and talked to her (we'll call her "T"), they would immediately stick their head in my office and say "Don't drink the water, we don't need another pregnant lady around here!!". Yes, people said it to be funny, and I get that, but after 15 times of hearing it during the SAME DAY, it gets old. Thanks. They had NO idea that we had been trying for a few cycles, and kept being disappointed. If it was that easy to get pregnant, I WOULD DRINK ALL OF THE DAMN WATER.

This leads to another pet peeve - how rude people can be when not realizing it, by asking "When are you having kids?" and "When are we going to see little ones?". Do people not realize that some couples are having fertility issues, and can't conceive easily? Do you realize that you asking and pressuring them about it, constantly reminding them of it, basically makes some feel like a failure? Ugh, I cringe every time I hear someone say it to someone else, just like I cringed when people said it to me - and we were only trying for a few months!

Now that we are pregnant, every single one of those people have come up to me and said "YOU DRANK THE WATER!!!". NO, I actually didn't. I just let it roll off my back for a little while, until a friend (that happens to be a student, and whom I'm pretty close to) comes to see me today. He had mentioned the dreaded "water" comment before, so I thought he had it out of his system. But, alas, it came tumbling out of his mouth, and I said, without missing a beat:

"No, I didn't drink the water. Didn't you know, people don't get pregnant from drinking water? I got pregnant from having sex with my husband!"

Seriously, it came rolling out, in the middle of the hallway, and really loud. Kinda embarrassing. (And the situation that lead me to starting this blog, because that probably shouldn't happen again - although the other people in the hallway laughed really hard).

But SERIOUSLY - his sperm + my egg = a fetus in my uterus, protected by the all-encompassing placenta. Then BING (like a stove!), March 28th, all done, welcome to the world, baby bean! No water needed to create a child. Who wouldda thought - it's a miracle!!

That ALSO brings me to the point that I've also heard "You just like you needed to join in, huh?", "Oh, you're part of that 'special group' now?", and "Oooh, you jumped on the bandwagon" and stuff like that. People say that because about 100 other people are pregnant or wives are pregnant in the small amount of offices that are on the 3rd floor of the Student Union. I actually have wanted a child for a long time, and was waiting for the husband to hop on board, thanks, and it wasn't POOF, I want a kid! I didn't just "hop on the bandwagon" - I'm not a sports fan who decides to jump on board with another team for the World Series, assholes. I planned, I studied, I went to doctors, I got opinions for nearly 8 months before we started TTC - it may not be as long as some people planned for, but WHATEVER.

This pregnant chick is done for now, because it seems to be the norm that I need a million hours of sleep. For those of you who have known me awhile, I've always had TONS of energy - not so much anymore. ::sigh:: I'll probably have no more energy for about 20 years...totally worth it, though!! :)

YAY! More later...

Introduction to the madness

Instead of filling my own happy-go-lucky "family" blog with my rantings of being pregnant, I figured I would just begin a new one. I'm sure my husband would not readily appreciate me ranting about morning sickness or stupid comments in our regular blog, so I thought I would be nice.

This blog is not for the faint of heart. Although I often seem pretty easy going, there are usually 100 smart a** comments I'm prepared to make at any given time. Pregancy makes that worse for me (I seem to have lost my "filter"), and I've noticed that I need more of an outlet to remove the possibility of snapping a smarty remark to someone I care about (specifically family, the husband, and friends at work).

I don't really care if people read this or not, but if you do, please don't be offended by my rantings, or automatically assume they are about you. They may be, but probably not. If they were about you, don't worry, I would tell you straight out.

I will say this - you really don't know how it is to be pregnant until you are pregnant. I always thought my mom and sister were full of crap when the "Meg, you just don't know how it is to be a mother" comments started. Frankly, those comments always pretty much pissed me off. Not sure if that is true, but it DEFINITELY is true that you don't know how it is to be pregnant until you are.

So, be prepared for some moaning and complaining, but also for the little celebrations of being pregnant, and being able to tell EVERYONE about it. I'm sure I'll write again soon, because I already want to write about 50 topics that come to my mind right about now.

If you follow the blog - hooray! If you read that introduction and say, hmmm, is she going to just be b*tching about everything about pregancy? Please know that you are wrong. I am going to just be writing to assist me to get through - happy or sad - and I hope to get some laughs along the way.

Besides, 2 fabulous ladies from work are going to go have their babies soon, and I want to keep them up to date on my rantings since they will no longer be 10 feet from my office and be able to hear it from my mouth.

Ok, more later. Don't worry, it will be soon.

Upcoming topics include: Judgements from other people about certain things (i.e. readiness to procreate, when you started telling people, etc), losing the "filter" during pregnancy, dealing with what is deamed to be "funny" or "cute" comments (usually the same comment 1500 times in one day), stupid people who drive in Las Vegas (ok, maybe not so much about Pregnancy, but something that makes me mad nonetheless).

This is going to be super fun!! :)