Monday, December 21, 2009

Havin' a hard time.

I'm having a bit of a hard day today, and needed to vocalize it.

I understand that pregnancy makes women more emotional, and that my own underlying conditions can make things a little worse. I'm good for the most part, so I don't want people to freak out or anything - I'm keeping things in check.

But I find that the blues are sneaking in lately, and I can't say that I enjoy that. When really digging deep to try to figure out what it is, there are some shining possibilities. The job situation isn't awesome, but I have a job - so that's not it. I'm excited that we're having a child - so that's not it. We have a great place to live, Michael has a job again, and we're getting back on our feet financially - so those things aren't it either.

After working through all of these things in my head, I am still feeling blue, depressed, down, what have you, and I think that I finally figured out why the heck I am just out of it. It's the fact that physically, I can't do anything. Walking to a different room can be painful, let alone from the parking garage to my desk, or from my office to a meeting in the Student Union. Stairs are now like vices of terror, and I 100% dread having to go down them.

I guess I haven't really updated the blog on recent issues, so maybe I should do that really quick. I've have back pain and pelvic pressure that has been getting progressively worse over the past 6-7 weeks. It can be difficult to walk at times (my right lower back and leg often get numb and decide to be funny about functioning correctly), I can't get up from a seat or bed without needing help from my husband, and forget about turning over in the middle of the night - it can induce tears.

I've done what I can at this point - I've done pelvic exercises; pregnancy yoga makes me cry; warm baths; a pregnancy belt to help support my back; weekly chiropractic appointments; I'm even working with my boss to work some days from home so I don't have to go up and down stairs, sit in my super uncomfortable chair at work, etc. I saw my doctor last week, and as supportive as he's been, he has said that I may need to stop working in order to rest to get better.

I guess that brings me to the real issue; I'm already having career identity issues for a number of reasons, none of which are within my control. One thing that I have, the one thing I was able to work on, the one thing that I still had some control over, is this coming January. It's four days of walking around campus, setting up tents, moving boxes, and standing and meeting with students on the sidewalks of campus. See the problem? This is a very physical role for me - and here I am, 20-odd days away, and having trouble going down the stairs.

I've lost control of my own body, and I'm having a really hard time with that. I'm used to lifting boxes, and putting in extra hours, and saying "Yeah, I'll take care of that". Instead, I have to depend on a co-worker who just came back from maternity leave and is still getting re-adjusted and transitioned and another co-worker who already has his hands full with another program. Instead, I've had to prep everything for this program as if I will not be able to come to campus - because at this point, if this program was to be held this week, I would not be able to do any of it. I can hardly do half days, let alone 12 hours on a cart, running around campus, and lifting boxes. I hate having to let go of my control.

But my Mom brought up a good point - this is for me AND Naomi, so asking for help isn't a bad thing. It's important to be able to recognize my limits, and I think that I'm doing a pretty good job at that. I'm trying to keep my head up, and looking at the positives in this situation.

And before anyone says it, yes, I am fully aware that I have 3 more months left - thank you. I know that everyone is trying to understand where I am coming from, and being supportive, and I am very, very appreciative of that. However, something that will NOT help me right now is saying "Wow, and you've got 3 months to go?! It's just going to get worse!". I understand that, but thinking of it in that way will not help me. At all - if I'm like this now, and it's going to get worse, then I've got 3 months of emotional and physical turmoil ahead, and I would rather not focus on that. I'm not trying to be mean, just honest.

I'm just wrapped in a cocoon of painful movements and the realization that this is going to be my life for 3 more months. I have a few more options left (i.e. requesting a referral for a physical therapist, etc), but if that stuff doesn't work out...I'm not sure what else I can do.

Then, on top of everything, I get the spurts of "Buck up, Megan, you're fine. Millions of women have been pregnant, why are you having such a hard time with it? You're just being over dramatic and wimpy." I am armed with that mentality, then push it too hard (and by pushing too hard, I mean going shopping at Michael's & Walmart, or attempting to attend rehearsals for a Christmas Concert), just to have the following 3 days be ones that leave me crying and in pain.

I don't understand why I allow others' perceptions, views, and opinions get to me - I know my body, and I should know my limits. On the other hand, I also want to prove I'm not a wimp. It's a vicious cycle.

The good news - I'm going to try to see a physical therapist, and I have a week and a half off before the program in January. My hope is that resting as much as I can between now and then will allow me to be all wonderful by the time I need to be. But my fear is that I'll just smile through the pain and push too hard, then be all jacked up until birth. I just need to be careful.

Sorry for the pity party - I've just tried to have a good attitude throughout (although being honest enough to say that pregnancy sucks)), and my good attitude is all dried up today. Today may be a blue day, but here's hoping tomorrow is another color.

I'm officially in my third trimester - 13 weeks to go.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Oh, it's 100% lady in there!

Yesterday we had another OB appointment, and we told him that we *thought* it was a girl. He referred us to the same office to do a free "sex check" - hooray! So, it's 100% lady - but she was being obnoxious AGAIN and wouldn't move. Ahh, my stubborn child. After she showed us her goodies, she looks at the camera, throws up her hand and struck a pose. Oh yes - my pose-striker melo-dramatic daughter - I'm excited to actually meet her!! I think she's going to pop out with a boa and rose colored glasses yelling "I'm A DIVA!". Yep, that would make her my daughter. Still, I hope she has some of Michael's temperament!

Another peice of fantastic news - I am still sleeping through the night, even at 22 weeks. YAY! I hope that this continues to be good news, because I will not be a very pleasant person if I don't get sleep. Lord help us all.

In some not-so-happy news, my back is all kinds of jacked up. The chair at work doesn't help, but I have intense pain shooting down my legs and lower back, and my upper back (shoulder blade area) feels like it is pulling in 100 different directions. I blame THAT on my ladies up top - I mean, really? Common, I need a break. So, the doctor put me on some lifting restrictions (don't lift things, but if you have to bend over, squat, don't bend using your back, etc), which is hard for me because then I start to feel lazy. I've also had these nice heart "spells" - racing heart, hard to breath for a couple minutes, then it goes away. If it continues, I may have to be referred to a cardiologist. Hooray!! Blech. Whatever.

I'm going to be really honest, because let's face it, I'm an honest person. I hate being pregnant. Strong, strong dislike for the PG. I know that's not a very popular opinion, but suck it people, it isn't fun. Some people have BEAUTIFUL pregnancies, where everything was roses, unicorns, and lollipops - I do not have one of those. That does not mean I love my daughter any less, or that it is going to deter me from having any more kids (maybe not 4, though). Even the kicking is getting old - I know that THAT part is supposed to be OMG, SO COOL! And it was, at first. But it feels like an alien sliding around in there, no lie. I have only a handful of days that I can look upon and think, "I had a really good day that day" - that stinks. I should be in the "Honeymoon" period of my pregnancy (the 2nd Trimester is referred to the Honeymoon period for some, because the morning sickness is over, and it's before you start aching because you have a 100 lb baby inside your uterus. Trimesters are 13 weeks long. I'm at 22 weeks. 4 more weeks of the lovely "Honeymoon" period left. Seriously, THIS is the best it's going to get? Shoot me now).

I may have said all of this before, but I needed to repeat it. Thanks for playing.

But, I can SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!! SWEET! ::thumbs up:: ::eyeroll::

Work is going ok - my "office" or "department" (which isn't really an office/department anymore) was absorbed into Admissions and Enrollment Services, which is actually a really good thing for what we are trying to do for students and their parents. However, it's put my life in limbo, so I am sharing an office temporarily, which isn't too bad, but I have only a few people to talk to. I end up just throwing on some music and pumping through my to-do list. That's hard for me, because I love to talk to people. Plus, everyone MUST think I am some sort of slacker, because I have to go to Dr's appointments for stuff, work from home because the chairs suck, or ward of severe nausea in the morning. Vomiting in a shared office space is very uncool, so I am not in here when I am feeling nauseous. That would just be embarrassing for everyone involved.

I could really go for some roses, unicorns and ESPECIALLY lollipops right now.

Monday, November 2, 2009

It's a lady!

...or at least we THINK it's a lady!!

So, here's the story.

I wake up about 6 times a night these days - no, not to potty (or piddle, as I'm now calling it), just randomly. Every time I woke up last night consisted of me saying "IS IT TIME YET?!" Irritating.

Wake up, eat breakfast, drive to the doctor, go to the wrong building, walk to a new building, find the office, and hoorah.

I check in, and I'm told there is one person in front of us. I asked if we were still going to be on time and she said, "Weeeeellll, the machine isn't working right now".

Now, I've always been a little over dramatic and always more than a little honest. We all know this, no one should be surprised, let's move on.

I look at her and say, "Well, it'll be fixed, right?" and she said, "Well, I don't really know...". I then said, "Oh, please don't tell me that - I'll die." (Remember, we already talked about the over dramatic nature of my life - please wipe the smile off your face :) ). She laughed, and said if it wasn't fixed, then they would get me in at another location today. That made me feel better, and we sat.

Machine was fixed, we go in, and I am about to jump out of my skin, I'm so excited. The tech was super nice, made some small talk, and she got out the goop to put on my abdomen. She didn't just put some on, she COVERED it. I mean COVERED. Think about mustard - you want to cover your hot dog, so you shake it, squeeze, and then a good amount comes out. Well, after that good amount it starts splattering, right? RIGHT. She kept doing it, and it ended up getting on Michael and on my shirt. I didn't care though, we were going to see baby bean!!

She immediately started doing the scan, and was doing all the measurements. Good news - EVERYTHING looks great!! Everything is right where it should be.

But, as she immediately started doing measurements, I knew that there was a problem. After she did the measurements, she said "Well, this is a little difficult because the baby has it's legs tucked up underneath it."

ACH!! I KNEW it!!

So, a little back story. Just 2 weeks ago we saw my OB and he tried to make out whether it was a lady or a little gentleman. Well, the umbilical cord was in between the baby's legs - the doctor said it looked like a baby g-string, to which the baby gave the thumbs up to. (It already has a sense of humor!!) Well, once the OB got it to move, the legs clamped up. ACH! So, baby and I had a conversation that day, and again this morning, about the importance of opening the legs and showing mommy what kinds of parts it has.

Apparently, my child is a little jokester!! The tech couldn't get a clear picture, but she said she saw girly parts, didn't see any boy parts, so she determined with a large amount of certainty that it is a girl. With the heart rate (160) and my gut, we agree. Hopefully we'll actually have a picture in 6 weeks or so! As we were walking out of the office, Michael looked at me and said "That is your child through and through - stubborn!" I'm glad my husband knows me so well! :)

My original gut instinct was right -a little lady! Michael had me convinced over the past few weeks that it was a boy - but I should have just stuck with my gut! Regardless, she's healthy, and that's what matters.

So, we hereby retire the name "baby bean" and replace it with "Naomi". This will be hard!

And let's discuss this name for a brief moment. It has been pointed out to me that "Naomi" is "I Moan" backwards. Thank you. Now, the people who have told me this all have male genitalia - am I to assume that "I Moan" is looked at in a sexual manner? Why else would someone mention that "Naomi" is "I moan" backwards? I almost equate it to looking at "80085" on a calculator (it spells "Boobs" for you playing the home game). Maybe, just maybe, I would have thought "Huh" when thinking about Naomi backwards. However, when thinking about people say "I moan" when it comes to my daughter...ummmm, yeah. All those protective instincts coming out. So, ask yourself for a minute - when you see/think the name "Naomi", what do you think? Do you think, nice name! or do you think I Moan? Then ask yourself - am I male or female? This would be a nice social experiment.

So, hahahaaa, Naomi is "I moan" backwards. If you feel the need, please laugh about it - privately. I would rather not think about what males think about that name. I guess it just brings up so many thoughts now that we are going to be parents - EVERYONE is someone's child. There are so many ways this conversation could go - it should probably wait for another day.

We're having a little girl - it's so hard to believe! I honestly think that she already has a fiesty personality. Hopefully she'll have some of her dad's temperment!! :) And I hope she doesn't like pink. And I hope she likes music - but I'll die a little on the inside if she's a soprano.

I'm kidding, don't everyone start on your "I'm judging you" train. Whateva. I want our little lady to be happy, but not give her everything she wants. I want her to work for what she has and know the value of a dollar. I want her to look beyond the material possessions and be happy with what she has. I want her to respect others while staying true to herself. I don't want her to conform if she doesn't want to. I want her to play with boy AND girl toys. I want her to love who the heck she wants to love without fear of being judged. I want her to have personality, and not a pushover. I want her to have strong convictions, and not yeild to someone just because they said it should be. I want her to respect herself enough to know that she doesn't need a significant other to complete her. There is just so much I want for little Naomi - it's so overwhelming, it's hard to explain.

And, if I know anything about my daughter thusfar, I think she's going to be less of a princess and more of a Diva. I'm somehow ok with that. :)

As for Mommy, she's been feeling a little crappy the past few days. We're halfway there, and I have a feeling that the aches and pains are just going to get worse. My memory is absolutely shot - I have to put everything in my phone and set a reminder. I don't finish my sentences, and Michael is just confused all of the time because he doesn't know what I am talking about. I bet parts of this blog makes zippo sense, because I am too tired to proof read it. Yes, I am that lame.

I'm re-joining choir tomorrow, and I'm excited about that. Sure, the music is not challenging, and I feel like some members get their jollies by kicking people out of their seats and comparing repertoire lists (seriously, it's bad), but it's music and I get to spend time with some pretty good friends. I just hope that I don't crash and burn - 3 hours of rehearsal after a 9 hour work day is a little intense sometimes. But, worth it, because it's music, and I'll take it.

So, yeah, that's our news! :) And I'm officially spent. I'm going to bed, and it's 7:30 p.m. Is it bad that I started to doze off during the nightly news at 5:30 p.m.? Yes? Ok then.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

It's a blog!

Well, we've been pretty boring lately, LOL. I don't have anything pressing to share, just that we're boring.

The migraines subsided, which was great for about 3 days. Mr. Hullinger then got sick, passed it to Mrs. Hullinger and Baby Bean, and while he gets to take all these wonderful cold meds, she and the bean have to hope it gets better. Silly husband, passing his stuff around! I'm feeling better, but husband is not. Poor guy!

Lots of things are happening in our lives!

There are lots of changes at my job - I was fearful at first, but I think these changes are going to be really good in the long run. I'm excited for the new challenges, but am not looking forward to moving to my 3rd office in 1.5 years. But at least I'll have a window, be very near the parking garage, and work with some amazing people. Yay!

Michael got a random court order saying that he missed his court date for a citation for no registration and unlawful sale of a vehicle from North Las Vegas police. Except we have never been to North Las Vegas, lapsed in our registration, or sold a car here. Hmmm, fishy! Come to find out our "totaled" car was fixed, someone got a new title, and parked the darn thing somewhere with a for sale sign and no registration present. Welllll, North Las Vegas Police looked up the VIN number and got Michael's name for being the last known person who registered the car. Well, I don't quite know who to be mad at, because we now have to go to court on October 27 to plead Not Guilty, provide paperwork, and possibly pay a court fee. I'm trying to stay patient through the whole thing, but someone would have received the ticket on the car, saw our name, and they would have KNOWN it was someone else. And they just ignored it!! How can someone be that dishonest about something? Something like that would absolutely eat away at me, knowing that I lied about something, and not taking responsibility for my actions. In the end, is it THAT big of a deal? No, no one has died, no one got arrested, so it could be so much worse. But this just happens to be one of those moments in my life where I think "REALLY?!" - one of those moments that you lose a little more faith in the human race. It's examples like this when I'll start to think about when I am making choices.

Roxie is fantastic, but she barks a bit - but she's a dog, what can you do? I wish we had a yard for her to run around in, but we take her out multiple times a day, so I hope that's enough.

Our next trip home to IL is over Thanksgiving - yay! Our parents are throwing us a baby shower - we're excited! If you are in the Springfield area and want more information, let me know!

Really, that's it, LOL. Baby's good, Mama's good, Pa's good. We're just all around good! Each day I'm getting more and more excited about being pregnant. I think the new opportunities at work have also gotten me more excited about getting up and going to work, even though I often feel like sleeping all day, every day!!

All in all, it's a good day. :)

Monday, September 28, 2009

I feel feisty, so it's story time...

Let's be honest, for me, being pregnant has not been fun. I don't foresee it being fun - is that bad? I am a little feisty this evening, so I thought I would take it out on my blog instead of accidentally lashing out at Michael (poor guy).

So, I've mentioned that I've had a migraine since Sunday, 9/20. It's in the base of my skull and my left temple. I also mentioned that I received a narcotic - hydrocodone, also known as vicodin - to help "crack" the migraine. My OB was super nice, and said, we'll get this taken care of (I heart him so much).

You also know that I called the doctor on Friday, and that I never heard back from them. I was more than a little pissed about it, but there wasn't really much I was able to do about it - what am I going to do, track my OB/nurse down at home? Anyway, Saturday was horrible, even with the meds they provided, so I called the nurse on duty.

First of all, she was rude. Dear miss thang, it's not my fault that your job requires you to be on call all weekend. It's the nature of your damn job, get used to it. Secondly, when I try to calmly (yes, calmly - I know that getting upset on the phone with someone isn't going to get you anywhere) explain my situation, don't sigh like I am the one putting a dent in your life. It's 11 a.m. - it's not like I woke you from your damn slumber. And, irritably saying, "Well, just go to the ER" doesn't help me either. So thank you, Miss-I-have-helped-zero-percent, you have officially made yourself look like a dumbass.

And, on a side note - one of the reason for rising health care costs is telling people "Well, just go to the ER" when they obviously just need some advice on how to get from one day until the next until they can talk to the damn doctor. What, have you never heard of an urgent/quick care? Thanks for playing.

So, I hang up with Miss Thang, and I am just...upset. I have had this pain for almost a week at this point, I feel like everyone at the OB office (besides my fantastic OB) finds pregnant women to be annoying (seriously?), and I would like to go back to the four days that I felt fantastic. Where did those days go? I've just got a lot of emotions goin' on, so I just promptly burst into tears, because I don't know what else to do. Then, my amazing dog Roxie, who was sleeping on the couch, comes up, puts her head under my chin, and just cuddles with me. It made me feel better, because I was by myself since Michael works weekends now.

I cried for a little while, then told myself to buck up because crying wasn't helping the damn situation. I called our insurance tele-nurse, and asked if I could get the same care at Urgent Care than I would at the ER. She said yes, but at this point it was 6 p.m., and I didn't want to deal with the damn Urgent Care, so I just ended up going to bed.

Sunday morning rolls around, and I wake up about 10 a.m. - apparently, I needed some sleep. and I decide to not take the pain meds to see if I was just working myself up in a tizzy for no reason (I have a complex that maybe I'm just making things worse, so I sometimes try to figure out how bad is it really, and can I really wait). I left the house at 11 a.m. to go to Urgent Care, and let's be honest, I really shouldn't have been driving. The sun was BRIGHT (one of the rare days I was praying for some cloud cover), and I had the patience of a June Bug (I don't know how much patience they really have, but it was the first thing that came to my mind), so the drive sucked.

I get in there, and I should have really stayed home. It was super busy and everyone had those flu masks on. Immediately I say to myself, is it bad enough to sit in here for however many hours it's going to take? The answer was a def. yes, because I was surprised how quickly my headache went from bad to worse.

I walk up to the front desk, and here is a heavier woman, mid-thirties, who obviously doesn't want to be there (Who can blame her? Everyone's wearing FLU MASKS). I obviously walk up to where the line starts, and she's still just chatting away with the female security guard that is reading a magazine behind the desk. Way to secure the place, lady.

Anywho, they keep talking, and I'm just standing there. I have to keep telling myself that this is not the time or place to pick a fight, and to keep my hormones in check. So she finally says, with disdain and a sigh, I might add, "Can I help you?" I walk up, and before I can finish saying "I need to see a doctor" I get a short "Well, I need an insurance card and picture ID." I get my stuff out, wanting to be a smart ass, but keeping it together.

I give her my stuff, and she asks what I'm there for. I say, short and sweet (because I know she doesn't give a crap what I'm there for, she just needs to know if for the triage nurse), "I'm 14 weeks pregnant. I've had a migraine since last Sunday. I'm on narcotics to crack the migraine. It's not going away. I need help." Pretty simple, right? The woman looks at me and says, with a little smirk on her face,

"Well, I don't know what else we can do for you"

?!?!?!?!?!!!!????!??????????????!?!?! !! $*#&@(*#&($&(&@(&!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear lady who hates her job, how long were you in med school? Where did you do your residency? Dunkin' Donuts? Last time I checked, you need to take my information down and pass it along to those who can actually help me. I don't need advice from Dumb Ass, MD in the front, THANKS.

Of course, that's what I thought, and no, I didn't actually say that - although I wish I did. I just said "Well, they told me to go to the ER, but I didn't want to waste my time there". Dunkin' Donuts behind the counter grunted and gave me my wrist band.

I sit down for about 20 minutes, and get called into triage by the nicest nurse, and she takes all my info. My blood pressure was a bit high (141/90), but she attributed that to the pain. On my way out, she gives me a flu mask. I ask how long it's going to take - she says, eehhhhhhh, about 2 1/2 hours.

I died a little on the inside.

I felt like crying, but said thank you and sat my happy butt back down and put on my mask. Then I felt like I was suffocating, so I took the damn thing off. But, really, what is a mask going to do? Come to find out they had lots of flu patients in the past week, so if I get the flu, we know where it came from.

By this point, I've had no meds, and I was not going to sit another 2 1/2 hours without them and practically in tears. I took some meds, and started to wait.

About 1 hour into waiting, a family who didn't speak english came in with this super cute little girl who was just screaming her head off. I felt so sorry for her, but I didn't want her to sit next to me - she was screaming SO LOUD. What happens? They sit next to me, screaming and all.

At this point, there is really no where else to sit, so I just start praying for strength because I feel like I could lay on the floor and die, and it would be ok. It was that bad. Finally, FINALLY they come get me.

I go to the room, and wait for 20 minutes. I am fine with this, because I am away from the screaming cute girl (I still heard her in the waiting room, and still felt super sorry for her). The nurse practitioner comes in, checks all my stuff for mobility, asks me questions, blah blah blah. I told her what my OB gave me to crack the migraine, and she rolled her eyes. I ignored it, because once again I wanted to go into the "You're not a doctor" shpeel, but whatever.

She said, well, we can give you this, this, or this (all take home meds). I thought, sweet, they are just going to send me home with some prescriptions and we can be done with this mess. But, then she said she had to look something up.

She comes back, and said, oh, we can't give you that stuff because you're pregnant. I had a resounding DUH in my head - why do you think the OB won't give it to me, pea brain? I said, oh, then what can you do?

They give a pregnant woman morphine through an IV, that's what they do! WHAT?! At that point, I didn't care, but they are awfully liberal with the narcotics when pregnant. I was like, whatever, so I waited for 25 minutes for a nurse to come do the IV - when I went to the restroom, the nurses were just standing around talking. Funny, my patience was through the roof on Sunday - that's pretty good for me.

Anyway, I had to call Michael from work to come pick me up, and I felt bad, but it's not like I could drive. After I called him, Big Mamma Nurse comes in with all of her needles and devices of torture. Again, I didn't care, just make it go away. Now, none of you know this, but I have what nurses call "Collapsing Veins". Once the needle goes in, they hide. They hide for stupid people, that's my philosophy.

So, Big Mamma Nurse tries my right arm, where the veins are bad, in my opinion. I tell her that, and she ignores me. I just close my eyes and wait for it. She sticks the needle in once, and digs. I mean totally digging for the damn vein. She comes back out, sticks it in again, and digs again. Can't get it. I tell her, again, that the right hand almost always works the first time. What does Big Mamma do? Goes to the damn left hand. Ok, whatever. She sticks - twice, and still digs. At this point, I'm in tears, and trying to talk through it. I usually pass out, but the head pains are apparently keeping me in the here and now.

So Big Mamma gives up and says, I have to go get another nurse. She patches me up, and leaves me for another 20 minutes. In the meantime, Michael gets there. Dunkin' Donuts from the front desk brings him back to the room - ugh.

Michael looks at me and says, Dear Lord! I have blood on my hand and arm, and I just know there is going to be all kinds of bruising at the site of Vein Assult '09.

Another nurse comes in, and we'll call her Crabby. She obviously hates her life - mid 40's in a gross flower patterned scrub uniform. At least she looks like she has done this more times than Big Mamma. She finds the veins on my right hand (finally), and sticks. And digs. I pull just slightly, and she yells "DON'T MOVE!!" I don't quite remember the next part, because I was in tears and she was yelling at me that my micro-movement almost stuck her BLAH BLAH BLAH. WHATEVER. It was an accident. If Big Mamma didn't dig so much, I wouldn't have flinched, thanks, Crabby! She then tries to make some small talk by asking me about morning sickness.

Don't get me started, lady. I told her that I had to be on medications and it was awful, so she goes into a story about how soda and crackers before opening her eyes in the morning helped. Dear Crabby, do you think I didn't try that, and everything else in the book? Thanks for FREAKING PLAYING!!!

I was just really irritated with Crabby, and immediately wanted Big Mamma Nurse back. Crabby then asked what I was there for, and I told her the abbreviated story. She looks at me and said, you know that you'll have migraines for 9 months, I don't know what we can do for you. Then goes into detail about how it was awful for her, but she got through it.

I almost threw her from the room. I was so mad. Whatever, she left after that, and I was polite and said thank you and sorry for almost poking her (which I don't think that I did), and she rolled her eyes and said "Yeah" and left the room.

The morphine kicked in, and I felt great. The pain level went to about a 2, which was awsome, they have me on fluids, the nurse practitioner comes back in, says awesome, and we're outta there. I felt weird afterword, but we went to the car, and I was STARVING - I'd been there for 5 hours, and the dumb pregnant lady didn't bring any snacks because she wasn't thinking. And she promptly threw up all of the fluids and meds they gave her at Urgent Care on the way home. It was amazing. I really hope it happens again.

Anyway, I get home, and slept, unfitfully (finally) for a couple of hours. You know what woke me up? The headache. It was back, full force. I was PISSED. So I just sit there, with a rag on my head, tried some claritin that the Nurse Practitioner suggested (which didn't work), and just watched Amazing Race, followed by a fitful night sleep. Yay.

This morning, I wake up, head raging, and I knew that I totally could NOT work in my office, with it's florecent lighting and noises up and down the hallway, so I worked half the day from home, in my nice, dimly lit home.

I called my OB AT 8 a.m., and requested to speak to the nurse. I go through the short version of the weekend's events, and mention that no one called me back Friday. The nurse was super nice, and said that it was her fault - she thought that the message was the old one from the previous Wednesday and threw it out. It was an accident, and accidents happen, so I was like, "It's ok". She said that she would talk to my OB today, and give me a call back.

Hi, it's 8 p.m. PST, and NO PHONE CALL. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, what do I have to do?!! I'm following protocol, processes, and procedures - could someone just call me back? Please?

So, I absolutely 100% have to be back at work tomorrow - I'm less than three weeks away from a major program that I am planning, and the fact that I've missed this much work already sucks. That's why I keep trying to work from home. That, and I'm going crazy.

So now of course I have Crabby Nurse in my head, saying "This will last alllll niiiinnneee moooonntthhss" and I want to smack her all over again. I really don't know what else the doctor is going to be able to do, but I at least need him to say "There is nothing else to do, suck it up". But I'm sure as hell not going to continue taking the narcotics - I've taken enough as it is. So, in the meantime, I'll just have to keep drinking all of my water, eating every 2 hours, and taking walks/exercising, and hope for the best.

Phew, the fiestiness seems to be leaving my body - lucky for Michael. :) And now Roxie is crawling all over me to get some sort of attention, so it must be time to go. And, here is her mark.... xsfffwwaffessasacscscscscsc.

Love her!

Friday, September 25, 2009

If it's not one thing, it's another.

It's been a few weeks since I've written - so sorry! It won't happen again. :)

First, a big shout out to Tracy Clark and her new daughter, Alexis Rose, born 9/19/09, and Savannah Baltera and her new daughter, Eleanora Grace, born 9/22/09. Yay for my friends and their babies - everyone is happy and healthy! (And a big thanks to both of them for dealing with my annoying butt, running into their offices with the words "Um, do you think this is normal...".)

The trip to Ohio for my cousin Holly's wedding was fantastic - it was SO worth the time and money. I was telling my mom just yesterday that before now I wouldn't ever really considered myself an overly "family-oriented" person - pregnancy certainly has changed that. We think of our family and friends often, and it scares me a lot to think that we're going to be on our own here, and can't call my mom to come help me in an emergency. Just another thing to get used to.

I have some GREAT news!! First, the pregnancy is going well, so YAY! Second, we find out the gender of the baby on November 2nd, which we are really excited about. Michael has already been scanning our first sonogram pictures for some guidance on what it may be. The 2nd picture that I posted last time may be showing a little wee wee (not the larger nubbin, which would probably be the umbilical cord, but the smaller nubbin a couple of cent. to the left). We could be full of it, but whatever, it's fun to speculate.

In other fantastic news, my morning sickness has faded and I no longer have to take anti-nausea medication. Yay!! There were about 4 days that I felt absolutely fantastic. Then, Sunday (9/20) happened. I woke up with a migraine, and it still hasn't gone away (it's Friday for those of you playing the home game). I went to my OB who prescribed me some narcotics to at least break the migraine, but it hasn't helped, so I called back today, and the nurse still hasn't called me back. If it's not one thing, it's another, I swear. Although I can't really move my head around without it throbbing and making me want to vomit, it's still better than the actual vomiting of morning sickness. That was like the 9th ring of hell. Still, the migraines (or is it still only one if it is the same one for 6 days?) are getting a little out of hand. I can't work with them, although I tried, so I better kick it this weekend because I can't take any more time off.

We've also picked out names for our little one!! They are....Naomi Marie and Noah Lee! We are super happy with the choices, and our "tradition" is passing our own middle names to our children. Yay!

I'm officially 14 weeks, so 4 months. Yay! It feels like I have been pregnant for about 100 years, so I'm already ready to get this party started. I still don't understand how pregnancy could be "the most amazing time" in my life, because it's not, let's be honest. Even if I have an amazing 2nd trimester, I still won't love it. Poor Michael, he's looked at me a number of times and says "We are not doing this again, because I can't stand to see you like this". Poor guy just doesn't know what to do. That's ok, hubby, I don't either, so we're in the same boat!! :)

This pregnancy definitely follows my personality - go big or go home. I would love to have a simple, wonderful pregnancy. Oh no, just like my personality and how my life goes, drama must ensue. I promise, I don't go looking for this crap - it just falls in my lap. I know some of you reading this may be smirking and nodding your head (I know you really well, mom! :) ) because you know it's so true. Just for the record, I would love for me to have an event free life, but alas, that doesn't look like it's going to happen. Not anytime soon, anyway.

So, now that there has been an update, let's move onto a topic that I've been seeing a lot on message boards and even news stories recently. Can a full-time career woman still be a full-time mom? I know that may seem like a weird question, but it comes from how some women choose to stay at home, while others choose to go back to work. It also encompasses how women perform in the workplace after they have children. I have read some articles about it, and thought I would share my opinion.

My filtered response:

While I respect the other opinion, I do think that a woman who works full time can be a good, full-time mother as well as a good, full-time employee. It disappoints me that there are still people in this day and age who stand by their claim that a woman's job is to stay home and raise the children. I respect women who have the opportunity, drive, and patience to stay home full time - I do not, however, feel like I would be able to do it and still stay true to what I want to accomplish out of life. I do not feel like this is taking away from my child, nor do I feel being a mother will take away from me being an effective career woman.

My unfiltered response (and what I would want to say, and what I may say to someone since the baby stole my filter):

What day and age are you living in? Just because I have a job, doesn't mean I am not being an effective mother, and just because I am a mother doesn't mean that I can't be effective at my job. I am already a full-time mom, and I haven't popped this kid out yet. I am already fiercely protective, and am trying to figure things out before he/she gets here. Yes, I will need to make arrangements to leave work early here, or pump breastmilk here, but let's be honest, I could still run circles around you. Mothers are the most amazing people on the planet - shuffling schedules, packing lunches, getting people to work/school on time, and still being able to make more and get more accomplished than your sorry ass. Just because I have a vagina does not automatically make me a candidate for staying home all day. I know myself well enough that I need additional mental stimulation in order for me to be at the top of my game, both at work and at home. So yes, I think I'm going to be an awesome mom and an awesome practitioner, and I have an amazing husband that will be knee deep in stuff too. Bite me.

Sorry, it just makes me SO MAD when people pull the "Well, you're a mom now, I bet you want to stay home, right?" or "You're never going to want to go back to work" or "You should stay home, because you would be half-assing both jobs". Oh, shut up. If that's what you expect of yourself, good, I'm glad, it'll work for you. I know that it won't work for me. Do I have the thought of "Oh, that would be nice", yeah, I do. But I know that I would be clawing at the door, needing additional stimulation, like my job, for my own sanity. My sister does an amazing job of being home all day, and having the opportunity to work more than part time for a university. That's an amazing deal that most of us don't have. But I still don't think I could do that.

Some may come back with, "Well, don't you want to know what your child is learning" and "You're not spending enough time with your child if you go to work". Yes, it's important to me to have my child stimulated and learning. That's why I don't drop him/her off at the neighbor's house and say peace out. I find a reputable day care, review their philosophy/curriculum, and Michael and I will make the decision. In my estimation, the people I am paying to watch my child def. have training with small children - ummmmm, I don't. That may seem like a lame-o excuse, but if I am going to take him/her somewhere, it's going to be somewhere they are knowledgeable.

I am confident that Michael and I are going to provide a loving, caring home for our child, despite me "going against nature" and working and satisfying my needs. A happy mommy is a happy baby. It's not like I work on a cruise ship and I am gone 3 weeks at a time. I'm gone from 8 -5, and we'll have a great time on weekends, too.

People absolutely kill me. You have no idea how many people are actually very vocal - and very rude - about women working while their children are small. It kills me.

::sigh:: Sorry, I saw an article the other day about this on a blog, and some of the comments were rude, and it got my blood boiling, so this was a good vent session. :) I think the topic I'll tackle next time is: Would you allow random people to come and hold the baby? Touch it's hand? Pinch the cheeks? Things to ponder.

That should be all for now, even though I could probably go on for another hour, but the computer screen is hurting my head. I'll leave you with a picture of me with my sister, who looks awesome after having 3 kids. Night!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

12 week ultrasound, NT test, and why I talk about pregnancy so much

Today, we had an NT scan, which is an ultrasound/blood test to review the possibility of Down Syndrome and Edwards Syndrome. Some women make the choice to not get this scan - I made the choice to b/c of some medications that I'm on, and I want to be sure things are progressing appropriately.

They are! We have a very small chance of either syndrome, so we have elected to not continue with the screenings/scans to identify further birth defects. Here is our bean at 12 weeks:

We are pretty sure we have a name for both a boy and a girl, but we aren't announcing them quite yet! :) However, we're reserving the right to change the name up until birth, LOL!

So, if you haven't noticed, I like to talk about my pregnancy. I like to talk about it a lot - it's new to us, I want to share with everyone! :) I love to learn about things, as well share our experiences with our friends and family. I know that not everyone understands this stance, and sometimes I get the "Oh my gosh, you are talking about it AGAIN" looks, or the "You're really talking about this so early?" looks. I am a pretty open person; Michael and I want to share our experiences as much as we can. I'm also pretty blunt, and pretty darn honest about stuff (if you didn't already know!! :) ). Anyway, if you are around me everyday, and you hear about the newest symptom or the continuation of old symptoms, that's why I talk about it all of the time - when I experience something, I talk about it a lot. It's who I am, and I'm cool with that.

Also, I think some of my hormones are leveling out, since most pregnancy comments don't bother me as much as they used to - even the "water" comments don't bother me as much! :) Instead of frustration, now it's more like, ::sigh::. Case in point - I keep being told how "young" we are to have kids. I'm 25! We got married when Michael was 22, and I was 23 - not 18 (like when I WANTED to get married, LOL). That makes me ::sigh:: because you're either too young...too old...too heavy...too skinny...too this, too that, blah blah blah. Pregnant or not, you're never going to win with everyone, so we should all stop trying! :)

I'm not trying to get all political and crap, but I will say how thankful we are to have healthcare. I couldn't imagine doing all of this without support from insurance; however, I hope we don't miss a hoop that we need to jump through, because if we do, it could be a costly mistake. So many people in this country don't have healthcare, and personally, if I were to not have insurance for some reason, I would want my child to have insurance. Some of you may know how hard it is to not have insurance available. I know how it sucks to be considered someone with a "pre-existing condition". That is why, after research on both sides, I have decided to support healthcare reform. If you aren't aware of the specifics, there is a lot of misinformation floating around - check out opinions on both sides, and make the decision for yourself. Ok, I'm done with political stuff. :)

That's probably it for now - I'm tired. This seems to be a pattern...maybe I'm pregnant! :)

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Quick HAHAA - post 2 of the day

I'm on right now (remember, I woke up at 2:30 am - see previous post), and saw this:

I went off on a lady in Panda Express that told me I shouldn't eat Chinese food because I was pregnant. I said (and quote), "Oh really?! What the fuck do women in China eat? French food?" And then I told her husband (or whatever) that if she couldn't control herself in public she shouldn't be in public. He didn't say shit to me.

HAHAHAAAAA - it's a board discussing how a woman went off on another woman for smoking during pregnancy, and now everyone is discussing their stories. What a good laugh - I wish I was that witty!

(For those of you offended by the language - my apologies - it just wouldn't have the same effect without it).

Happy Thursday!

Sleep eludes me, quick update, quick opinion, and implementation of a "WTF Moment"

First, I would like to say THANK YOU to all the amazing feedback I've gotten about this blog! Not only is it a great outlet for me to talk about pregnancy, but also a way to keep friends/family updated on life. It's hard being pregnant so far away from family (say, 2,000 miles), but technology makes it so much easier. My poor Mom was pregnant with my sister when my Dad was stationed in Germany - talk about far away from home. She wasn't even on the same continent as her family, and really only had letters to communicate with them. That sucks, man. Technology makes this much easier.

I woke up to the dreaded "I'm on a boat" feeling (no, not the song) at 2:30 am. It's now 4:15, and I can't get back to sleep. The nausea/vomiting are back full force, despite the medication to help ward it off. On Tuesday it knocked me on my butt, and I hadn't been able to eat for about 24 hours. I started to feel "funky" (that's about the only word I have for it), so we went to Urgent Care. Long story short, my blood pressure was 112/76 (lower than usual), and my heart rate was 123 bpm (high for blood pressure being that low). The doc comes in, says, "You're really dehydrated", gave me fluids, anti-nausea meds, and potassium, and I went on to dry heave the entire time I was there. It was such an awesome experience, I made great relationships with the nurses, and I look forward to my next visit.

In all seriousness, it sucked, but I am really thankful that I didn't have to go to the hospital for that. That would have really been a not-pleasant experience. Sleep seems to elude me more often than not, so I wouldn't doubt that I will begin to come into the living room during the early morning hours, have Roxie fall asleep on my lap, and continue to update le blog. And if this dizziness could go away, that would be great - I literally fell over last night, had to lay on the floor, Michael's face worried and Roxie licking my face. ::sigh::

Anyway, another observation that I've had about the "pregnancy world" is how hard women can be on other women.

(I love the commercials - they make me laugh. Sorry, I got distracted.)

I was talking to my Mom yesterday, and we were discussing how it's hard to make decisions on what to do for pregnancy/birth/raising kids (i.e. breastfeeding vs. formula feeding, doula vs. no doula, epidural vs. no epidural, how long you have your child rear facing in the car - seriously, I've never thought about this stuff - no wonder I can't sleep). We also discussed how pregnant women/mothers can be so harsh and judgemental of other mothers - thankfully, I haven't experienced it first hand, but I am sure I will.

Case in point: I am part of the community, which has been really nice to discuss some of these issues with other women. You would be shocked to see how many threads there are slamming decisions made by other posters. One woman discussed why she was formula feeding, and she got huge backlash from other mothers who say mothers who don't breastfeed are just "lazy". I was shocked! Who is some random person online to say another mother isn't making the right decision for her child? I, of course, gave my opinion stating that they were rude, and although I had some strong supporters, some women just wrote me off. I couldn't believe it!

I'll be discussing my own opinions on some of these topics, but I also hope to have links to arguments on both sides, that way my non-preggo friends can start being informed on the decisions. You may not care right now, but you may in the future - just throwin' it out there.

I really hope that I don't turn into a judgemental soccer mom, who is so overbearing that she completely makes all the decisions for her kids. It's sad, there are so many things that I want to avoid that I'm afraid that motherhood is just going to stress me out 24/7, and I'm going to forget to enjoy it.

That brings me to another point. I need to stop and smell the roses, although the smell makes me nauseous (that's my lame attempt at a joke at 4:30 a.m.). I try to keep a good attitude; sometimes it's hard, but I always say my prayers about how thankful I am for the opportunity to be a mother. It's the most amazing job on the planet, and it's moments like these, quiet moments with my dog resting on my leg (while I get the tingling-your-leg-is-way-asleep feeling), an info-mercial playing in the background, and the hum of the refrigerator that I realize how truly lucky I am. I have a wonderful husband, my best friend, who has been amazing through this whole process, a loving dog, a roof over our heads, a great job, a great family, and good friends, both in Vegas & across the country. I guess I'm just feeling really thankful this morning, and I can't wait to meet little baby bean to show him/her how amazing life can be, no matter what is happening in your life (good or bad).

I'm gonna be a mamma - that's wweeeeiiird (I still have my moments!!). :)

(Can I just share how PUMPED I am that Beatles Rock Band comes out in less than a week?! I can't wait to have my parents visit us for Christmas and have my Dad try out the drums - it's going to be good times that we have to get on tape, believe me!!)

On the appointment update, I have a triple screen next week (September 9), which means they take a whole lot of blood and do an ultra sound to see if little bean is susceptible to Downs Syndrome and other birth defects. Some women choose not to get this, but I did b/c I have to be on medication for a pre-existing condition, so I thought it would be a good idea. What I hope they do NOT do (which I'm still finding out if they are doing this or not) is an amniocentesis. For those of you playing the home game, that's when they stick a huge needle (about a foot long) into your abdomen to take a sample of the baby's amniotic fluid. Can we say a resounding "Hell no". If they do it, they're going to have to knock me out, Nope. I can't even wrap my head around that. What if the poke the baby's head? My baby would have a damn hole in it's HEAD. Could we not stress me out? Thanks so much.

So lots of prayers that they aren't doing an amniocentesis, or else I may just cancel the appointment and just hope for the best. Yes, I am that big of a baby.

I travel to Ohio September 11 - 13 for my cousin's wedding - thank goodness I am getting out of the city so I can see family, even if it is for only two days. Just pray I make it through the plane ride out there and back, lol.

And today's "I'm SO tired of hearing this" doesn't come from me, it comes from a good friend that is due pretty soon. She works with a lot of students, and many people pop in her office and say "You're never going to come back to work", and "You're going to want to just stay home with the baby!" Her responses to me were quite funny - I'm sure you can imagine, LOL. BTW, she really enjoys her job, and is actually quite ok with coming back to work. Just a little shout-out to her! :)

And, finally, I'm implementing something new: each blog is going to have a "WTF Moment". This edition: "Man slaps a stranger's screaming child" ( Really - we're serious?! I would rip that man apart - lord help the person who lays a hand on my child (see, I'm already getting all protective of my little bean!!).

Enjoy that article - it's enough to say "WTF".

Friday, August 28, 2009

Remember the days where you could eat food? Yeah, me either.

It's been about 6 weeks since we found out we were having a baby - and I would love to say that it has been the most amazing experience of my life, and that I want a million babies. But I can't say that. Wish I could, but I can't. Don't judge.

Pregnancy has been less than easy for me. Whenever I thought of being pregnant, I knew it would be hard, but I also though there would be days of blissful thoughts of my baby, rubbing my stomach on the deck, looking at the mountains, drinking some lemonade.

HA. In my dreams!

First, yes, I do have blissful thoughts about my baby - that part is very true (and I smile and get excited all over again). But when I wake up at 2:15 in the morning dry heaving on my pillow I start to think if there is A FREAKING DEMON IN PLACE OF MY CHILD. My stomach pooches out, which I didn't think would bother me, but it does, the mountains are getting old, it's still 110 outside, and lemonade makes bile come up into my mouth. So much for the picture perfect pregnancy.

Before anyone freaks out, no, I don't think my child is a demon, but my little bean is absolutely sucking the life out of me. Like, completely dry. I've had severe nausea since 5 weeks (I'm 10 weeks now), I have to keep my office door shut because I randomly dry heave, I couldn't eat anything, I am now on meds for nausea/vomiting, and what I do eat makes me absolutely sick for about 2 hours (but at least I am getting something down).

When does this start getting fun?

One week, I couldn't get enough Popsicles and sno-cones. The next week, Trix cereal was AWESOME. Milk still makes me gag. Greasy food is a no-no. Grilled cheese? AWESOMER THAN ANYTHING. But what sucks is that what works for me today, will absolutely kill me tomorrow. Funny how that works.

I am getting larger - I haven't been able to fit in my clothes for a few weeks now, which is exciting and depressing all at the same time. I thought, since I'm already a "full figured" gal, it wouldn't bother me all that much, but the changes that happen with your body mess with your mind. I will miss the opportunity of having a cute little baby bump, because people won't really be able to notice until November anyway, and those who don't know me won't ask me when I'm due, ever, because they don't want to offend a non-pregnant fat lady.

And, before anyone asks, I will not be taking side "progression" photos. Period. I already feel soooo uncomfortable with my body, so I don't want to do it and have people say "I see no difference". It's awkward being heavy and pregnant. And it sucks.

Case in point: When I told a person from work (who I only work with on occasion, and does not work in the same building as I do) that we were expecting, his eyes immediately go to my stomach and goes, "Really?" But not the "Really?" excited "Really", it was the "Really, because I don't believe you because you just look fat". The eyebrows were all furrowed and everything, and had the headcock to one side as if to ask "Are you serious?" . I wanted to crawl under a table and die. (And no, I did not take this the wrong way - I went over the scenario in my brain a number of times).

And there was another guy at work who said this summer (before we were pregnant, but we were trying), "I'll never let my wife get pregnant when she is fat - that is so selfish of her. My wife knows that if she wants a child, she needs to keep working out". My jaw almost hit the floor. Really? Selfish? AND, you are talking to a heavier woman of child bearing age. Hey, IDIOT, do you have a pea for a brain? Watch what you say!

Overall, I have my good days and my bad days - today was a not so good day. I try to make it a good day, and overall it is, but my body seems to be so angry right now. I would like some happiness back in my body, please. Thanks so much.

Off to make a grilled cheese - that sounds damn good.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Shocker: Babies do not come from H2O

Oh. Oh, this saying and it's many variations.

"OMG, you drank the water!!"
"What kind of fertility drugs do you put in your water?"
"Man, I'm not drinking the water!"

::sigh:: And now begins the silly, cutsie comments surrounding pregnancy.

Just so we are on the same page, babies don't come from water, storks, or anything weird. It's when a sperm fertilizes an egg, and that egg embeds itself into the uterine wall. The sperm gets into the egg by a man and woman having relations. Everyone caught up? Good.

I don't know where this statement came from, but whoever first said it deserves to be punched in the face.

I first started hearing this statement when we were secretly TTC (that's short for Trying To Conceive, for you non-pregnant folk), and I had a couple of friends at work who recently became pregnant. One of them has an office next to mine, so I got to hear all of the cutsie comments for a full 6 months before we got pregnant (that may or may not be why they annoy the crap out of me at this point).

Anywho, every time they came and talked to her (we'll call her "T"), they would immediately stick their head in my office and say "Don't drink the water, we don't need another pregnant lady around here!!". Yes, people said it to be funny, and I get that, but after 15 times of hearing it during the SAME DAY, it gets old. Thanks. They had NO idea that we had been trying for a few cycles, and kept being disappointed. If it was that easy to get pregnant, I WOULD DRINK ALL OF THE DAMN WATER.

This leads to another pet peeve - how rude people can be when not realizing it, by asking "When are you having kids?" and "When are we going to see little ones?". Do people not realize that some couples are having fertility issues, and can't conceive easily? Do you realize that you asking and pressuring them about it, constantly reminding them of it, basically makes some feel like a failure? Ugh, I cringe every time I hear someone say it to someone else, just like I cringed when people said it to me - and we were only trying for a few months!

Now that we are pregnant, every single one of those people have come up to me and said "YOU DRANK THE WATER!!!". NO, I actually didn't. I just let it roll off my back for a little while, until a friend (that happens to be a student, and whom I'm pretty close to) comes to see me today. He had mentioned the dreaded "water" comment before, so I thought he had it out of his system. But, alas, it came tumbling out of his mouth, and I said, without missing a beat:

"No, I didn't drink the water. Didn't you know, people don't get pregnant from drinking water? I got pregnant from having sex with my husband!"

Seriously, it came rolling out, in the middle of the hallway, and really loud. Kinda embarrassing. (And the situation that lead me to starting this blog, because that probably shouldn't happen again - although the other people in the hallway laughed really hard).

But SERIOUSLY - his sperm + my egg = a fetus in my uterus, protected by the all-encompassing placenta. Then BING (like a stove!), March 28th, all done, welcome to the world, baby bean! No water needed to create a child. Who wouldda thought - it's a miracle!!

That ALSO brings me to the point that I've also heard "You just like you needed to join in, huh?", "Oh, you're part of that 'special group' now?", and "Oooh, you jumped on the bandwagon" and stuff like that. People say that because about 100 other people are pregnant or wives are pregnant in the small amount of offices that are on the 3rd floor of the Student Union. I actually have wanted a child for a long time, and was waiting for the husband to hop on board, thanks, and it wasn't POOF, I want a kid! I didn't just "hop on the bandwagon" - I'm not a sports fan who decides to jump on board with another team for the World Series, assholes. I planned, I studied, I went to doctors, I got opinions for nearly 8 months before we started TTC - it may not be as long as some people planned for, but WHATEVER.

This pregnant chick is done for now, because it seems to be the norm that I need a million hours of sleep. For those of you who have known me awhile, I've always had TONS of energy - not so much anymore. ::sigh:: I'll probably have no more energy for about 20 years...totally worth it, though!! :)

YAY! More later...

Introduction to the madness

Instead of filling my own happy-go-lucky "family" blog with my rantings of being pregnant, I figured I would just begin a new one. I'm sure my husband would not readily appreciate me ranting about morning sickness or stupid comments in our regular blog, so I thought I would be nice.

This blog is not for the faint of heart. Although I often seem pretty easy going, there are usually 100 smart a** comments I'm prepared to make at any given time. Pregancy makes that worse for me (I seem to have lost my "filter"), and I've noticed that I need more of an outlet to remove the possibility of snapping a smarty remark to someone I care about (specifically family, the husband, and friends at work).

I don't really care if people read this or not, but if you do, please don't be offended by my rantings, or automatically assume they are about you. They may be, but probably not. If they were about you, don't worry, I would tell you straight out.

I will say this - you really don't know how it is to be pregnant until you are pregnant. I always thought my mom and sister were full of crap when the "Meg, you just don't know how it is to be a mother" comments started. Frankly, those comments always pretty much pissed me off. Not sure if that is true, but it DEFINITELY is true that you don't know how it is to be pregnant until you are.

So, be prepared for some moaning and complaining, but also for the little celebrations of being pregnant, and being able to tell EVERYONE about it. I'm sure I'll write again soon, because I already want to write about 50 topics that come to my mind right about now.

If you follow the blog - hooray! If you read that introduction and say, hmmm, is she going to just be b*tching about everything about pregancy? Please know that you are wrong. I am going to just be writing to assist me to get through - happy or sad - and I hope to get some laughs along the way.

Besides, 2 fabulous ladies from work are going to go have their babies soon, and I want to keep them up to date on my rantings since they will no longer be 10 feet from my office and be able to hear it from my mouth.

Ok, more later. Don't worry, it will be soon.

Upcoming topics include: Judgements from other people about certain things (i.e. readiness to procreate, when you started telling people, etc), losing the "filter" during pregnancy, dealing with what is deamed to be "funny" or "cute" comments (usually the same comment 1500 times in one day), stupid people who drive in Las Vegas (ok, maybe not so much about Pregnancy, but something that makes me mad nonetheless).

This is going to be super fun!! :)